Russian Adoption Diary: Whys, How Comes, and Answers

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Whys, How Comes, and Answers

Today marks one year since we received the news that our first referrals were taken home by their grandmother. What a difference a year makes!! Those boys will always be near and dear to our hearts. We loved them for six months, had bought clothes and toys for them, prayed for them, and were two weeks from meeting them when we lost them. We were devastated to say the least.

Why am I telling this story? Because many of you out there are still waiting, many wonder what your adoption future holds, many have been through pain similar to ours, maybe you are going through it right now, many worry about it happening to you. I just want to encourage you that you will survive. The pain is always present, but truly there is a reason for everything. With El and L home now, I can't imagine anything else. We don't always know the whys or how comes, but with faith and trust in God and His supreme plan, things work out for the good.

Hindsight is always better. We now know that El and L would never have been found if we hadn't lost twin boys. Our agency seemed to think that's what we wanted. The boys were in the databank but not on the major lists. They had to verify their availability.

I truly believe God led us to the 2 year old twins for two major reasons. First, they needed to be reunited with their family. This wouldn't have happened if we didn't pursue their adoption and pray for them a forever family every day. Secondly, the two year old bwins led us the 5 year old bwins. God knew His plans for us and for all 4 boys. Our decision to adopt and to move forward after loss brought 4 boys out of orphanages and into homes and only proved to strengthen our faith.

I still pray for and remember our first bwins. My arms ache to hold them at times. My kids still have their pictures in their rooms and I still have their pictures in my Bible. We consider them a forever part of us. However, a year later, His divine plan is much clearer. We will always love those boys and we are so grateful to them for leading us to our forever sons.

I have a craft project sitting on my kitchen windowsill that my kids made in a preschool class at church. It sums it up very nicely. It is a small frame with a puzzle piece in the center. By the puzzle piece it says, "I see only a piece of the puzzle, God sees the whole picture."

Hang in there all of you that don't see the end of the tunnel or can't see where you are going. Grab hold of God's hand and let Him lead you. From one who has been through some of your pain, He truly knows best!

posted by 6blessings @ 2:26 PM

8 Comments:

At 5:14 AM, Deb said…

Thank you for this post. Each day that I am waiting to start the dossier again and continue this process I am gaining more strength and learning new things. I can see now that this was exactly what God wanted us to do.
We haven't been through anything as tramatic as you just a lot of waiting at this point but I appreciate the encouraging words. Thanks
At 6:21 AM, Maggie said…

Beautiful post, Kim.

I know there are reasons Peanut and I met. Even though things didn't work out the way I'd hoped, I'm so grateful for our time together and I will always love him. But it's hard to see the other side when I'm still wading through it. You give me hope, though. Thank you for that.
At 8:13 AM, mommyto5 said…

Beautiful post and I can completely relate. Like you mentioned, God Bless 4 precious boys have forever families now:)
At 3:14 PM, Chris Goeppner said…

Thank you Kim for reminding us that God is in control. I'm so thankful that God sees the big picture and knows what's best for us. I'm holding on to His hand real tight .=)
-P
At 6:42 PM, jessy said…

Kim, did you get my e-mail? I responded to the question you put in my comments section.
At 8:13 AM, kate said…

Thanks for the reminder, Kim. While I know it, and believe it wholeheartedly, it doesn't hurt to be reminded and reassured that God's perfect plan in His perfect time is unfolding daily. I can't wait to hear why I've been waiting so long! (I know I may not get to know why, but I'm still hoping to...)
At 6:43 PM, Melissa said…

I agree, everything happens for a reason.
At 8:39 PM, Jennefer said…

Great post! There is always a reason for things happening the way they do.

Thanks!