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| Monday, January 07, 2008 |
| The Tides of Life |
Life is an endless cycle of gaining and losing, firsts and lasts. We learn to deal with loss and we learn to celebrate with gain. We revel in the firsts and cherish the lasts. Two years ago, we had all of the "lasts" as a family of six while we were anticipating the boys. Then last year we went through a series of "firsts" with them- first Christmas, first Easter, first bike, first birthday party, etc. Now this year we are back to "lasts" again, and along with the lasts come the goodbyes.
This fall, we began realizing and marking many "lasts"- the last time to dress up for Halloween, the last birthday with family members, the last Thanksgiving and Christmas with our family, etc. When we lost the big tree in the ice storm, we said a goodbye to our home as we knew it, a special memory. Then D's grandpa passed away and another goodbye came our way. Our last Christmas with our families was special despite all of the illnesses we had and are continuing to have. But with the passing of Christmas comes the beginning of getting rid of "stuff" for us.
We are not moving with the military or any business that would be sending employers overseas. We are a part of a group, but there are no moving expenses because we raise all of our own support. Therefore, when we board the plane next summer, we will have almost nothing to claim as ours other than what is in our suitcases. Yes, we will store some memorabilia, pictures, etc. We may even store some basic supplies for when we make trips back for visits. However, most everything we own will be sold in a garage sale or given away. There's no shipping of furniture, etc. We will not own a vehicle.
I am not a "stuff" person anyway so this concept has never really bothered me much. We won't have much space when we get there anyway. We are "hoping" on a 1000 square foot apartment for the 8 of us. We've even been told we would have a western toilet. Woo Hoo!!There won't be much room for much else besides beds, clothes, schoolbooks, and basic necessities. We don't need any of our "stuff".
A few weeks before Christmas, our pastor preached a sermon on how traditions bind the children to the family. They bring security and a sense of belonging. After that sermon, we decided that we would pack up our most special Christmas items and send a very small box over so we would have familiar things with us next year. Each child picked two of their favorite small ornaments. We are going to wrap them in our stockings and send them over. We have also included a book we always read on Christmas Eve.
Other than that, all of our Christmas "stuff" will be going. My mother is taking a few items and we asked our small group to come "after Christmas shop for FREE" at our house. We found a good home for our 7 1/2 foot Prescott Pine prelit tree. Next year we're hoping for a table top tree. Really, I am thrilled to give away all of Christmas things. I would rather them go to people we love than just be sold in a garage sale for a quarter. However, my heart does ache, not for the "things", but for the memories. I don't know how to explain it, but I guess I'm just going through a little loss. I'm sure a little fear of the unknown, fear of the future is there. However, I think it is mostly a kind of saying goodbye to the way things were.
I know Who holds the future and I am totally confident in His plan. I know that next year will be an incredible one filled with exciting new adventures and marvelous opportunities, especially at Christmas. But for right now, I'm quietly and inwardly weeping over the loss. The tree, grandpa, and Christmas are only the beginning of the goodbyes and the losses. Our next 7 months will be filled with them. I know that dealing with loss and saying goodbyes are just part of the tides of life. However, I look forward to next year when the cycle of "firsts" begins again. I know that God will use the next few months of the shedding of everything we've ever known to draw me closer to Him and prepare me. The one thing that helps is to remind myself that my goodbyes and my losses are nothing in comparison to God's sacrifice of His Son on the cross or Christ's sacrifice of His very life. He did so much more for me than I could ever do for Him. |
posted by 6blessings @ 7:23 PM  |
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| 11 Comments: |
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I admire you greatly. You epitomize faith and possess such strength.
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Ugh! Kim, your comments are so sweet, but I don't feel that way at all right now. Now, is a struggle time, but I do believe He is faithful.
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My dear friend! I am not looking forward to one of those goodbyes! I am feeling your pain right now, but I know that God will bless you more than you ever expected with your obedience. Your words show such faith and honesty. Your life has been a wonderful testimony of God's grace and mercy and this is just the next step for His glory.
I love you! Tori
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My heart is sad as I can imagine how hard it is to say goodbye to people and things that are of comfort and familiar to you. I know how it is to not have family around you. Just to pick up the phone anytime to say hi.
I have been praying for your new friendships and God's strenght to surround your whole family. We both know how hard it is as children to leave our friends and family and move to unfamiliar territory but God will have someone waiting for each one of you to bond with as well as bonding more and more with him and together. This at times i am sure is easyier said than done. But there is a hope and excitement to watch as God unfolds the rest of your life as you are obedient to what he has called you to do. I am very excited for you.
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I am weeping for you...and praying, too.
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That was a beautiful post. You've got a major change coming up but I'm sure it will be wonderful. It's such an adventure and you're opening up the whole world for your kids.
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Kim, this was a very moving post. I've carried you in my prayers, even though I haven't been online much to read your blog.
You will be a blessing and witness to others through your faith and strength because you are sharing how difficult this transition is but you still know it is His plan and you all are being faithful in obedience!
Keep posting and sharing! Your blog friends will travel with you. You will have internet there, won't you!
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Wow, Kim. So much has happened to you all during the holidays! I hope you are all feeling better now.
Your post is very inspiring. I have a hard time just watching my children grow up, and saying goodbye to the wonderful stages they have been through. I can't imagine saying goodbye to the places and small things that help to make so many of those memories too. You do have amazing strength.
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I too admire your ability to leave so much behind. As you mentioned you each only had your suitcases I was reminded of just how much we were able to take with us to Guatemala. We had a 5*8 trailer. Not big but enough to bring things with us. I remember (I was 16) sitting in my room and going through everything trying to pick what was most important to me to keep. I also remember having a final birthday party with my friends and letting them all pick 2 stuffed animals each (I had a ton).
I'll keep you and the family in my prayers over the next 7 months that the goodbyes are not too painful and that you all get on that plane ready for the next adventure.
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I'm so glad you decided to pack those few Christmas things. It will mean so much when advent rolls around next year.
I'm going to offer some unsolicited advice about moving...I don't have many "things". When packing my suitcase I include things that say "home" to all of my senses--a favorite scented candle, precious photos, a special blanket, favorite cd's, peanut butter... This really helps as the excitement of a new life starts to wear thin and homesickness sets in. Just something I've found...
Godspeed.
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A special post. I haven't yet thought of how I will say goodbye to loved ones when the time comes. I'm sure i will be leaning on God a whole lot then to get me through it.
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I admire you greatly. You epitomize faith and possess such strength.