| Monday, January 21, 2008 |
| A Year and a Half at Home |
Yesterday marked a year and a half since we landed on American soil with our Russian sons.
I've had a lot of news to report on the other kiddos, but haven't done a bwin update in a while, so here it is.
First, here's a picture of the bwins in our hotel room on the day we took them from the orphanage (July 14, 2006). The shirts are 2T and the shorts are 18mo.  This picture was taken in our Moscow apartment when they discovered the CD player. They were fascinated and listened to it forever and begged to listen more. It was the first thing that they stopped long enough to sit for since we got them. They both love music, but L has a special draw to it. He loves to listen and to sing. He's always singing something, although not very many of the words are correct.  This picture was taken this Christmas when they were given FP3 players by MeMa and PaPa. They are the kid-tough MP3 players made by Fisher-Price. I thought this really showed how much they've grown from the pic above.  The boys have wrestled this fall/winter season and have done well. They have won a few medals, but above all, have learned some much needed self discipline. They enjoy days out with dad, their wrestling coach. Every time I hear Steven Curtis Chapman's "All I Really Want for Christmas", I cry. It's about a little boy who is an orphan and just wants a home. One of the lines says, "But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with, Maybe they could teach me how to get along." This has come true in our family.  This picture was taken at our trip to the pumpkin patch in early November. 
This picture says it all.
A family. This was taken on Christmas Eve 2007 when they got their new jammies. 
A lot of progress has been made over the last year and a half, but there is always more work to be done.
Here's a few other updates:
Weight in Russia: L (25 pounds), El (25 1/2 pounds)
Weight now: L (30 pounds), El (31 pounds)
Size clothing in Russia: 2T shirts, 12 month shorts
Size now: 4T length, still need super adjustable waists or strong elastic
Language: They communicate extremely well, but still get sentence structure mixed up. They also tend to use wrong verb forms (much like a 3 or 4 year old). We are continually working on their vocabulary expansion. They have learned to point and say "that" or "this" to so many things, but don't actually know what they are.
School: We have homeschooled Kindergarten this year and progress has been slow, but it has been there. They know all of the letter names and most of the sounds. They have quite a bit of trouble with u, w, and y sounds. El can sound out almost any short vowel, three letter word. L struggles a little more in this area, but can get it depending on the day. They have also just started learning silent e on the end of a word and long vowel sounds. They can recognize all of the numbers through 10 and the number words through 10. They can do one digit addition and subtraction problems (usually with their fingers, but at least they have the concept).
The true challenge in school has been in the area of discipline and frustration levels. They require great amounts of review. For example, they know how to write their names, but if they don't practice it every once in a while, they don't remember how to do it. We do a lot of drills and repetition. We have to review how to do everything after we've had any break, even a weekend.
Every day, we have several outbursts. At the beginning of the year, we had a lot of screaming, yelling, crying, throwing fits. It really made it hard to learn anything. What I started doing a few months ago has really helped. The minute they start fussing or whining or whimpering, they are sent to sit on their bed until they can come back and work with a good attitude. They usually run off screaming, but have to make their own decision to calm down and work. They come back and usually apply themselves much better.
They can definitely learn, it just seems as if they don't always retain things well. We can do a page of addition problems, turn the page, and they don't know how to do the next page of addition problems even though it is exactly the same. It has truly been a different year of teaching than I've ever had before.
Discipline: A year and a half ago we were spending half our day in time-in with the boys trying to keep them from tearing everything up. They still go to time-out on occasion and we still have a lying incident once or twice per week, but all in all things are much better on this front. They still get incredibly angry when they have to be disciplined. It is a fierce anger, but they are learning to control it better.
They still require tight boundaries. It seems if I let up and give them a little more freedom, I mean a little, they take a bunch and run. They don't know how to manage it well yet. They're gradually getting better, but it is always a test and see situation.
Memories: Over the past year and a half, we've heard several stories of their past. They are trying to sort everything out. The other day, they asked E when Mama and Papa picked her up from the orphanage. E went on to explain that she came out of my tummy, not from an orphanage. She told him he came from his Russian Mama's tummy. L said, "Yea, she told us she would come back and get us one day, but she never came." Little things like this pop out from time to time. Memories will be sparked by a word someone says, a song they hear, something they see on TV.
Letters from gma are becoming less, but are still happening. In the last letter, she mentioned the boys' father. We have no paternal info on them, so this, of course, spurred our interest. We wrote back asking for some more info, but haven't received anything back.
Attachment: I think the boys have attached really well. They still sometimes get overly touchy and suffocate people, much like they did at first. However, they seem to usually have a good balance. They absolutely love their siblings, grandparents, and cousins.
All in all, it seems like they've been here a lot longer than a year and a half. I feel that they've progressed well considering their first five years. They are six and a half years old. In some things they seem right on target, but in many ways they are more like four year olds. Sometimes this is hard for me. However, I feel that they are doing really well. The last year and a half has definitely been an adjustment in many ways for our family, but I can't imagine life without the bwins. |
posted by 6blessings @ 7:34 AM  |
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| 6 Comments: |
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they have made amazing strides. You should all be so proud. They are doing extremely well considering what they have been through and their age when they came over. Dont beat yourself up. Infact, I bet this time next year, they will have made a total turnaround.
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This is a great update. They have come along so far. It also sounds as if you have too. (And I mean that in the most flattering way.)
Your boys are very cute.
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Love the photo essay. My word, they look so much better - healthier, happier, more at ease. Congrats.
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Thanks for the update--and for sharing the challenges. You hardly ever mention them, so I assume that there aren't any, and then I think, "I MUST BE A DISMAL FAILURE!!"
Your update sounds alot like where we are. We've come a L-O-N-G way, but sometimes it seems we still have a ways to go.
What is your insight on the screaming/anger thing? Marina is almost three years into consistant, loving discipiline and yet every time we must discipline her in any way (though these days it is MUCH less than in previous years) we still catch the brunt of her rage. It is almost as if the correction brings on the tantrum but they are completely unrelated--and disporportionate (spelling??!!). She will do something (minor) that she KNOWS she will be punsihed for, and then have a complete melt down when what she knows is coming, comes. The correction will match the crime, but she will react as if it is the most severe abuse known to man.
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Thank you for the update on your amazing boys. They have come so far! Keep up the good work--all of you.
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The bwins look great! Thanks for the update. You really have come a long way... and to even have them doing the kindergarten work you speak of. It's amazing. When K was going through kindergarten last year, she experienced some of the same things you mention.... she would read a page in her book, then turn to the next page and have to completely sound out the words she just read on the previous page. I thought something was wrong... but now she's reading in first grade (she's doing quite well) and I realize that she just wasn't quite ready last year. The bwins had been set back by orphanage life, right? You will probably see wonderful progress in the next year as their minds mature more.
And how is their health... was it El or L that had so many doctor visits? They both look so healthy and strong now.
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they have made amazing strides. You should all be so proud. They are doing extremely well considering what they have been through and their age when they came over. Dont beat yourself up. Infact, I bet this time next year, they will have made a total turnaround.