Russian Adoption Diary: Letting God be our Defender

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Letting God be our Defender

Today's reflection is going to be about something very close to home. It's amazing to me how God knows just when to send what verses my way.

I have been dealing with something at the gym for several months. I have always loved coaching and have had great relationships with my gymnasts and their parents over the years. When we moved and I left my old gym, there were many tears. I still have those parents approach me at competitions and beg me to come back and tell me they miss me or it hasn't been the same since we left. That has been almost 3 year ago now. I have the same relationship with the parents I have coached at this gym. At least until a few months ago.

This year we have had several new gymnasts come our way because of discontent at another local gym. Sometimes there is difficulty with transition from one place to another or one coaching/training style to another. However, it usually works itself out within a relatively short period of time.

This year we had one family transfer over that has been what I call my "sandpaper". I believe God places people in our lives to rub off our rough edges and make us more like Him. We have been round and round with this family.

The problem has really escalated and has become a great burden on me. I have never had a more stressful gym year. I have prayed every day that God would allow me to forgive her and love her regardless of what she has done to me and my girls. I truly want to be a shining example of the love He has for her. I talk to my girls about how Jesus prayed for and loved even those who were mocking Him and spitting in His face. However, truthfully, the longer this goes on, the harder it gets. Forgiving and overlooking injury once, twice, even three times is much easier than when it is overlooking it many times more. Jesus said to forgive seventy times seven. I'm trying, but it is hard when there is no remorse on the other side. It is totally a one-way street.

Last night, as I was coaching and trying to fight through my worldly human emotions toward the mother and child, I remembered watching a movie recently called "Flywheel". It was made by the same people that made "Facing the Giants". In the movie, the man was trying to live righteously, but his name was getting smeared by people in competition with him. An older man in the movie told him to let God be his Defender. The man prayed and gave his reputation and these problems to God and asked Him to be his Defender.

This hit me hard. I knew that I had not treated her child any different than any other child I coached. I knew I had been fair in all things. I knew that I had made every effort to hold my tongue even when I was taking a hit and my kids were taking hits. I am naturally a defensive person and so this is an area where I was being challenged to grow. It was so releasing this morning as I prayed for God to be my Defender. I have new resolve to go in to the gym tonight and be the best coach I can be and leave the rest to Him.

Several verses in my Bible reading this morning reaffirmed His role in this:

II Corinthians 1:12
Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God. We have done so not according to worldy wisdom but according to God's grace.

Message: Instead of trusting in our own strenth or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally- not a bad idea since he's the God who raises the dead!

II Corinthians 2:7-8 (Message)
"Now is the time to forgive...If all you do is pour on guilt, you could very well drown him in it...pour on love."

Ouch! Today's verses hurt! :-) Change my heart God!

Please pray for me that I can pour on love and trust in God's strength to do it instead of living in unforgiveness and hurt.

posted by 6blessings @ 8:04 AM

3 Comments:

At 2:06 PM, Anonymous said…

I just want to leave you with this thought I heard one time. I quess this could apply to your situation at the gym or even people who don't understand about your move.
"when we are obedient to God he is responsible for the outcome and consequences but when we disobey we are resonsible" Sounds like you are trying to obedient in all things. Don't get weary in trying to do good!!!
At 8:30 PM, junglemama said…

I'm sorry this is happening to you! Remember, God knows the truth and tha's all that ultimately matters Kim.
At 8:01 AM, kate said…

Prayed for you today, Kim.