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| Tuesday, March 21, 2006 |
| Miscarriage |
 
Well, we received word today that our boys will never be ours. They are gone for good. In a previous post I had compared adoption to pregnancy. Now I have a new comparison. I feel as if I have just miscarried. I have never had a miscarriage, so I'm sure this is not totally accurate. However, for six months I have carried these boys, not in my womb, but in my heart, and now I have lost them forever.
I feel peace however about the whole situation. They have been taken in by their grandmother. She had been unable to care for them before and has been working to get to that position. She has applied for full parental rights and will be granted them.
Since we found out 5 days ago that this was a possiblity, I have been on my knees a lot and have been buried in the Word of God. I had experienced a peace about their situation that was very comforting. I didn't know what the outcome was going to be, but I knew that God had them in His hands. You see, I loved them like my own children, but God loves them even more. He knows what is best for each one of us and watches out for each of His children. These little guys are planted firmly in His very capable hands. The pain for us is deep, but beauty forms from pain. When God laid these little guys on our hearts, we prayed for them a lot. Maybe that's just what they needed to get them back home to their family.
Now we have to decide where we go from here. Please pray for us in this decision. We appreciate all who prayed for us over the past few months. We consider it an honor to be the "prayer parents" for these little boys. Their pictures will now go in my Bible, beside my wedding vows, and will stay there for as long as I live.
God Bless You Boys!! We love you and always will!! |
posted by 6blessings @ 11:27 AM  |
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| 10 Comments: |
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I have no words except to let you know that we will be praying for you.
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Oh, Kim. How heartbreaking. I'm sure knowing they are going to their grandmother who has been trying to get them has to be somewhat of a comfort, but still...
Don't rush to make a decision. Take time to say goodbye to your sweet little boys. The right decision will come.
I'll thinking of you.
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I am very sorry. There have been way too many sorries in this Russian blogger world lately. Way too much heart-break in regards to lost referral children. It is so discouraging. I am glad that you can rely on the scriptures for comfort and I hope that you will feel led as to what to do next. I am so glad that you are feeling peace about this hard situation. Let us know what you decide to do.
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Kim, I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to another. Please know that you and the boys are in my prayers.
Hang onto your faith. It can get you through.
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Kim, I am so sorry to hear your news. I can truly say I know exactly what you're going through. Just know that we are praying for you. God is a God who hears prayers and I know He will lay a path before you.
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Can't remember if I commented here before, but I am really sorry for what you are going through. How heartbreaking.
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So sorry to hear about this. I wish I had the right words. I am glad you've gotten some peace over the situation. How difficult.
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I can't imagine what you are going through, but hope that as time goes by the pain will lessen. This experience, and your boys, will and should never be forgotten though. I like what Margaret says about taking some time to say goodbye and then you will be in a better frame of mind to see what road you wish to travel on next.
It's been a long day, so if my words sound strange, just know that I'm thinking of you and your family.
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I wished I had the words that could comfort you the way that you need to be comforted during this time of grief. I do want to say how incredibly sorry that I am. All of the stories of lost referrals are incredibly heart breaking. Our prayers our with your family and I know that God is going to lead you to your child/ren. But, right now...it is ok to grieve and make sure you take care of yourself and nurture yourself.
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You have a great outlook and I agree that God has his crazy plan even if it doesn't make sense to us while we're going through it...don't you wonder if when you die, you find out what it all meant? Prayers to you that your child finds it's way into your arms very soon.
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I have no words except to let you know that we will be praying for you.