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| Wednesday, February 28, 2007 |
| Home |
I have mentioned before about the parallels I have seen drawn so many times between the adoption world and the Christian faith. On Christmas Day, I mentioned several of them. Today, I want to talk about home.
My church is not Catholic, however, we are encouraged by our pastor to take part in the Holy Season by celebrating Lent. Everyone is encouraged to give up something for the forty day period of time to help identify in Christ's sufferings and also to make us anticipate Easter Day-a day of great celebration. We are also encouraged to fast some time during this Holy Season. In addition, our pastor put out a daily Bible reading list to be read Monday-Saturday every week leading up to Easter.
Today's chapter was Hebrews 11. Anyone that has studied much about the Christian faith recognizes this chapter as the Faith Chapter. Throughout its verses, it lists many heroes of faith. One man of faith was Abraham who travelled to an unknown place to make it his home. He left everything and travelled to the land God promised to him. In the Message, it says, "Abraham did it by keeping his eye on an unseen city with real, eternal foundations- the City designed and built by God." In other words, his eyes weren't set here in the world. They were set on his eternal home in heaven. That is how he managed to endure all that he endured and how his faith was sustained.
It goes on to say, "Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that- heaven country. "
I am also reading a book called "In Light of Eternity-Perspectives on Heaven" by Randy Alcorn. Today's chapter was titled "Home". Here's a paragraph from that chapter.
"When we arrive there, heaven will immediately feel like home because we'll instinctively connect it to all we longed for and occasionally caught magical glimpses of while on earth. But in heaven we won't just look back; we'll look forward to and anticipate all that's ahead of us there. The longer we're in heaven, the more memories we'll make and the more our home will be...home. It won't lose its homeyness--it will always gain more."
Just as our children dreamed of a home where they would be fed and loved and taken care of, we, if we are Christians, should long for our home with our Father. We should have faith that it will one day come to pass. We should delight in Him as He delights in us(Isaiah 62:4-5). Also, the longer our children are with us in our homes, the more memories we make with them, the more it will become their home. The more faith we have, the deeper the relationship we have with God, the more committed we are to Him, the more we will long for Heaven-our eternal home. |
posted by 6blessings @ 8:00 AM  |
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| Tuesday, February 27, 2007 |
| TV Special |
As you know, my boys are all gone for a few days. One of my mom's "requirements" for their time away was that I take some relaxation time. I NEVER watch TV, maybe an hour or two per month at the very most. Anyway, I decided to turn it on last night and wanted to share about the great program I watched.
My husband has a running joke about my days. He says, "What did you do all day- watch Oprah?" Well, he and I and anyone else know that this is so far from reality that it isn't even funny. Anyway, last night, I watched the Oprah special. It was called, "Building a Dream." She built a huge girls' school in South Africa. It is top notch. She took applications from girls all over South Africa. She was a part of the entire process, including the interviews, attendee selection, decoration and furniture for the dormitories, libraries, dining hall, etc. The school is totally free to all who attend. She also vowed to pay for any girls' college tuition upon graduation from the school.
All of the girls were from extremely poor families and communities. Her goal was to give the brightest girls with the greatest leadership abilities a chance of a lifetime. Now, I didn't necessarily agree with the criteria for acceptance, but I guess her goal is to give those with leadership abilities a chance that they may not otherwise have. The curriculum at the school is incredibly tough and demanding.
I let my girls stay up and watch it with me. At the end, E said, "I'll never gripe again about anything." I'm sure that isn't true, but my girls saw what poverty looked like and how grateful these young girls were to get a chance for a real education, to be cared for by others, and to be able to eat three meals a day. Not to mention taking showers, having indoor plumbing, electricity, etc.
The girls' stories were heartbreaking. It showed the people that were behind these beautiful little ones, many of whom were orphaned by their parents through various circumstances. Some had been abandoned and several had watched their parents die. Many were being taken care of by other relatives, usually grandmothers who did their best to survive. It was so uplifting to see what had been done to help those children. So many times, I get very frustrated with how celebrities (and others) "blow" their money when I know the needs that exist all around the world. She is doing something about it.
The special is supposed to air again this Saturday at 7 p.m. Central time on ABC. Did anyone else see it? What did you think? |
| posted by 6blessings @ 12:07 PM |
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| Monday, February 26, 2007 |
| Circus Fun |
Last week, my mother invited all 3 boys to come up to her house for a few days to visit this week. Yesterday, D met her halfway and dropped the boys off. They were so excited. They hadn't been to Babushka and Dedushka's house by themselves before. But best of all, the plans for last night included a trip to the circus.
I got three or four calls from excited little boys. "Mama, I wide elephant!" "Mama, I tsee motowcycle on wope!" "It is so cool, Mom!"
Babushka and Dedushka emailed pics of the exciting event. I'm posting some today, but saving my favs for a later post. Enjoy!
Boys with light-up swords that their grandparents spoiled them with!  Front row seats pay off when the clowns walk around. "Mama, we wide elephant." (That's Dedushka at the very back. What a good PaPa!)
 This pic is a little blurry, but shows the full elephant they were riding on and how high they were up off the ground. They're at the back. The boys with some clowns.
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| posted by 6blessings @ 11:29 AM |
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| Thursday, February 22, 2007 |
| Language Progressions |
I have two language stories for this post. You might think that this post has to do with El and L's language progression. In a way it does, but according to them, it is we who have progressed.
Yes, you read it right. When D was explaining about G(our Russian babysitter/language tutor) speaking Russian, he told them that she speaks like they did at the dietsky dom. He went on to explain that Mama and Papa speak English and that they now speak English too. El laughed at him. D asked why. He said that WE were the ones that didn't speak "English" at the dietsky dom. He said that we just said, "Dlkjlk kl atjlataoi alkdjtlakrj alskdjf alkdjfdaoite, blah blah blah." In other words, he just made a bunch of sounds to imitate jibberish sounds that he thought we made. He went on to say that since coming home WE had learned English and were understandable now.
They don't realize that they are the ones who have learned a new language. They think that because they can now understand us, we must have been the ones who changed. It sure is an interesting concept! :-)
Real language progress is happening with the boys. When they first met G, she asked them a question in Russian. They just looked at her with a puzzled look on their faces and said, "What?" Well, on Tuesday, when they took G home, she reached into the back seat, handed them a book, spoke to them and then said goodbye. As they were driving away, D asked them what she said. L said, "She told us we could keep the book." A little ways down the road El spoke up and said, "Daddy, L lied. G said we could keep the book for a little while." This was the first time they had ever translated Russian to English and it was the first time we had any indication that they still understood Russian. I'm sure they had no idea what they had just done. We think it's great progress! |
| posted by 6blessings @ 6:24 AM |
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| Tuesday, February 20, 2007 |
| 7 Months...Still Learning |
Today marks 7 months since the boys came home. We have had many ups and downs. In some respects, it has gone better than expected. In other ways, we've had some surprises and it has been difficult. Emotionally, it can be quite draining. However, the good times outweigh all of the hard ones.
Sometimes, I think we've made great progress on some fronts only to have regression. I suppose that is normal. Last night, I had another eye-opener on something that I thought had been learned but I realize may take a very long time.
El got up several times after he had been put to bed last night. He never bothered us, he just had several "bathroom" trips. As I was going to bed last night (an hour and a half after he was put to bed), I heard noise in their room and decided to check on them one last time. As I opened the door to my room, I could see their door. El was just standing in the doorway. Our conversation went as follows:
"What are you doing?"
"I need bafwoom(bathroom)."
"Again? You've gone a lot tonight."
He drops his head.
I lower myself to the floor in the hallway and motion for him to come sit on my lap.
He immediately comes, wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tight for several seconds.
At this point, I realize something is up more than just putting off going to bed.
"Are you scared?"
"Yes."
"What are you scared of?"
Immediately, "I don't know."
"It's okay, Stas. You can tell Mama. What are you scared of?"
"I don't know."
"Mama loves you. You can tell Mama. What is it?"
"I scared of... (long pause, head lowers)....monsters."
He didn't cry, but he wiped his eyes several times and looked ashamed. He would look up then when his eyes would catch mine, he'd duck his head back down.
I hugged him tightly and then began informing him that he lived with Mama and Papa now. We don't allow monsters in our house. I tell him that one of the jobs of a Mama and Papa is to protect their children from monsters and to keep them out of our house. I tell him that we won't allow monsters in our home, so he is safe.
He gives me a long hug.
Now, as a mom of six, I've certainly had my share of monster scares. What was different about this one? He didn't come to me. Before, all my other children would have come to me and told me. I have been woken up at night many times because of monster fear. Not this time. El was facing his fears all alone.
I began to realize that over the past few weeks he's had a lot of "bathroom" runs after being put to bed. How many times have I gone to sleep or watched him doing that, told him to go to bed, and sent him in to be scared on his own?
After hugging for a minute, I pulled him back, looked him in the eye and told him that he can come to me any time he is scared. The boys have been with us 7 months now and they have never entered our room at night, not once. I told him that even if Mama is asleep, he can come into my room, wake me up, tell me that he is scared, and I will hold him. I told him several times, just in case he didn't understand. He gave me a big hug again and smiled. I still don't think I will see him at night yet, but at least maybe he will begin to understand that he can come to me if he needs me.
"Do you want me to go lay down with you?"
He nods yes.
"Do you have to go to the bathroom(just in case)?"
He nods his head no.
I lay down with him while he tosses and turns for a while, sitting up to look around once before he took my hand in his, laid it across his chest, held on tight, and fell asleep.
Progress comes in little steps I guess. They are learning a lot as their world is changing. I am learning a lot as I find out all of the "normals" may not be so normal. Such as in this case, what seemed to be normal kid "putting off going to sleep", ended up being a child dealing with fear on his own. I have found that I must pray every day that the Lord will open my eyes to their needs, that I would see past the "front" and see into their hearts and souls. There is so much there that I don't understand and so much more than I might ever realize. I just want to be the best mom I can to them and help them in whatever way possible, no matter how long it takes. I don't want them suffering alone. |
| posted by 6blessings @ 5:01 AM |
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| Sunday, February 18, 2007 |
| Hoping to Preserve Culture and Language |
The bwins are doing so well with their English. They speak in complete sentences and their vocabulary is ever-growing. However, their Russian is completely all but gone. This saddens us. We had hoped that they would continue to dialogue amongst themselves in Russian. This has not been the case.
Therefore, we have been looking for some kind of opportunity to get them some Russian. Recently, with J starting on the boys' preteam at gymnastics and H wanting to start doing it again, we've had a need for a babysitter a few days a week for the boys for about an hour or so. D decided to see if he could find a Russian community and see if anyone would be interested in the job. We have found a Russian lady who is probably in her 50s who is interested.
She and her husband came to the U.S. 2 years ago to live with their daughters who worked and studied here. She washes dishes at a little cafe during the lunch hour, but liked the idea of being with the kids. We met with her last week, her daughter translated. She came for the first time on Tuesday. H stayed home to help her out the first day. Then on Thursday, we left her for the first time with the boys.
We wanted someone who would only speak Russian to them. As soon as she left after first meeting her, D commented that he didn't think we had any threat of her speaking English to them instead of Russian. She doesn't speak much English at all. She seems to understand quite a bit, but just can't speak it. The boys were fearful at first. We had anticipated this and had talked to them about it ahead of time. We were afraid that they would think that we were preparing them to go back to Russia. We assured them that they were going to stay with us forever and we were never sending them back to the orphanage. They were tense at first, but now they really like her and think she is so much fun. They ask when she is coming back.
She has a Russian driver's license, but doesn't know enough English to take the test here. Therefore, I have to go pick her up each time. This proves to be a mental challenge to me as the conversation flows non-stop. She is rattling off in Russian with an English word or two every once in a while that I try to figure out. It's very interesting and very mind challenging. D has a master's degree in Linguistics with a TEFOL emphasis. He has offered to help her learn whatever she wants to learn. She wants to be able to pass the driving test. That would be great for me too!
Anyway, during our drive last Thursday, I mentioned Maslenitsa that I have read about on Debbie and Kate's blogs. She proceeded to discuss it at length( in Russian, of course). Then, this afternoon, she shows up at our door with a massive stack of blini and 5 different jams to put on it. We had given her some of our Valentine cookies we made last week, so maybe she wanted to return the favor. Maybe she just wanted to help us instill some Russian customs in our sons, since that is what our desire is with the language help. The kids tore into them. We still have several left, but they made a huge dent in the enormous stack.
We're really excited to provide this opportunity to our boys. We think it is such a gift to be bilingual at a young age. We don't want them to lose this or any of their heritage. We have found out that our babysitter and her family attend a Russian Orthodox church in the big city not too far from us. We are thinking about attending Orthodox Easter with them. Maybe we will invite them to our Easter service. I think this will prove to be an invaluable link for our sons to have. I'm so glad that we found G, our new Russian friend. |
| posted by 6blessings @ 7:25 PM |
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| Wednesday, February 14, 2007 |
| Happy Valentine's Day |
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. We had a good day today (except for the three time-outs for lying and disobedience). I decided last weekend that I needed to allow some fun in my life and not just be all about business. You see, I have so much to get done that if I don't stay on target, I get behind and things really snowball. I am also a stickler about getting all of our school days in and finishing all of our curriculum completely. I have learned that if you have too many "fun" days, it doesn't get done at the rate we need it to. Nevertheless, we all had a "fun" day today and still got some education.
I downloaded some Valentine math for everyone. We wrote Valentine stories. The three girls read about the history of St. Valentine and what the story is behind the holiday. BTW, it's very interesting. If you don't know the story, here's the story we read( http://www.isabelperez.com/St%20ValentineStory.htm). It, of course, also had vocabulary, reading comprehension questions, etc. to go with it. We also did some fun Valentine puzzles. The little boys had Valentine papers to practice their letter "E's"(letter of the week) and to write their name on. They also had Valentine coloring sheets(which they painted).
After their Valentine work was done, we picnicked in the living room and watched H's new movie she got for Valentine's Day, "Love's Abiding Joy". It is the latest in the "Love Comes Softly" series by Janette Oke. The series is absolutely wonderful! Then we made Valentine cookie cutouts and decorated them with white and pink icing and plenty of sprinkles.
To top it off, it started snowing this afternoon before we went to gym. The kids thought that was so cool! At gym, we played a Valentine puzzle conditioning game. It was a great way to get our conditioning and strength training done, build teamwork, and have some fun. By the drive afterwards, the roads were getting slick. I slid several times on the way to pick H up from church and almost rear-ended someone at a stoplight. Now, the kids are all tucked in and D and I are going to try to spend a few moments together. It is Valentine's Day, right? :-)
Hope you had a good day too! If you are like me and are all about getting everything done, keeping everything organized, and staying on task, I really recommend having some fun- a little play therapy. It really helps. |
| posted by 6blessings @ 7:41 PM |
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| Monday, February 12, 2007 |
| Doing Better |
I enjoyed a good Saturday afternoon and evening with my hubby. We went out to eat, went Valentine shopping for the kids, and just hung out. It was nice. I did no housework and I didn't have to cook at all. I just vegged. It was so nice. Thanks D for giving me some time off.
I knew what one of my problems was all week long, but didn't have the drive nor the energy to fix it or do anything about it. I found a verse this morning while H was having her MRI that summed up how I felt and what my problem was.
"Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God--soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." Psalm 42:5
I knew that I was living on my own strength recently. I had gotten so busy that I hadn't taken time to read my Bible or pray very much. Many of you have commented that you wonder at how I do all that my life demands. The answer is: only by the strength of God. Last week I was trying it on my own and I was failing miserably. Saturday, I got some time alone with God and was able to recharge. I know many of you don't understand or agree with this, but it is how I live. God is my source of strength. I am so grateful that He loves me so much.
Another problem that I had last week that I was not aware of had to do with the medication I was taking for my cold and sinus problems. I thought I was taking a Sudafed substitute, but was taking something different all together. It finally dawned on me Saturday and I went to check the label. Sure enough: "May cause drowsiness." In Kim lingo that means: "Will knock you cold and make you unable to function." I stopped taking it and my energy level is getting back to normal- still tired, but not exhausted.
A third contributing factor is the life I lead(mom to 6 kids, homeschooling four different grade levels in every subject, coaching, running a household, church obligations, etc.). We are praying about some changes. When everything is running smoothly, it is challenging. When there is a bunch of fighting and battling, it is extremely difficult. The kids have been bickering a lot lately. I have been having massive trouble with El and L, lots of lying and rebelling. I think they are going through a phase similar to when they came home. They are just testing again, but it is pretty severe and very draining. We have also had a lot of doctor's appointments, etc. that have had us going non-stop. I am very diligent about our schooling and it really cuts into our time to have to go do all of the other things we have to do and still make sure all of our schoolwork gets done everyday. It makes our work doubled. Taking six children grocery shopping for hours and sitting in doctor's offices for hours is emotionally draining.
Having said all of that, I am fine. Thanks for all of your well-wishes. I just freaked a little last week. My body had just had enough. I'm back on track and ready to go for a while longer. I'm going to try and make sure that I keep my Source connected and don't try to go out on my own again. I'm also not going to take that medicine anymore. Everything else will take its place. In the end, I am such a blessed woman. I have six beautiful children, a loving husband who provides for our every need and many wants, and family and friends who care about us all. I am blessed. Thank you. |
| posted by 6blessings @ 1:39 PM |
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| Friday, February 09, 2007 |
| Living for the Weekend |
I had another post started, but will probably never post it. I'm having to let some feelings settle a little. Obviously, there needs to be some clarifications made to the last post. However, I'm not in the mindframe to do so at this time.
This week has been one of the most difficult I've experienced in a while, including the one a few weeks ago. It was difficult for different reasons, mainly emotionally and physically. The bwins, especially El, have been having many problems that have just worn me out. I feel like I've been in a war, battling every day. However, things are looking up because the weekend is coming.
This Sunday, we will celebrate D's grandpa's 99th birthday(his birthday is actually on Valentine's Day). He is as sharp as a tack and can tell you tons of amazing stories. Anyway, my MIL has invited the kids out Saturday to stay with her and go to the party with her. (Because of our drive and our Sunday School teaching obligations, we are going to have to be late to the party. She wanted to make sure the kids were there on time.)
What does this mean? Rest, recuperation, and time alone with hubby. I am in such need of this, more so than I can ever remember. I feel the last of me has been spent and I'm running on fumes. I need to spend some time recharging. My prayer all week has been that God would get me through, and He has. I couldn't have made it on my own. All week long, I've been counting down the days until Saturday. I'm so grateful for this one day to relax or at least let down a little. Thanks MIL. It means more than you'll ever know. |
| posted by 6blessings @ 7:16 AM |
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| Tuesday, February 06, 2007 |
| Mixed-up Feelings and Other Odds and Ends |
Thanks so much to all of you for your kind congrats with the last post. I am still thrilled with the picture and feel so blessed to have it. Believe me, I know what a treasure it is. I stare at it up close on the computer several times every day. BTW, Maggie, they do look just like themselves. I totally understand and thought the exact same thing.
I have been battling some feelings since receiving the letter with pictures. You know the old saying, "A picture is worth a thousand words." That is how I feel about the other pics we received from babushka. My emotions have been up one side of the scale and down the other when I look at them. The story they tell is so much different from the story we were told in court. Let's just say that we're not as worried about their half sister as we were. In some ways, it is relieving. In other ways, it is haunting and eye-opening. Right now, I'm just trying to accept it.
On another note, wrestling season is finished. J has decided that he would like to have a go at gymnastics. We have a boys' team at our gym that is doing pretty well. J can already do a back handspring and loves to play around at home. I hope he has fun with it. The bwins want to go too. They always want to be like their big bro. I'm looking for a class for them too.
I'm battling a cold. I rarely get sick (mom's don't have time to be sick). However, sometimes I think I get so worn down that my body shuts down. I feel like I'm in shut down mode right now. It really frustrates me because I don't have time to slow down, much less shut down. I'm creeping along at a snail's pace but refuse to quit. Hopefully, it is short-lived and I get over it soon.
Gymnastic season is in full swing. At the meet last weekend, Z scored her highest floor and bar scores that she has ever made at her level, setting personal bests. E won the gold medal on floor with a 9.675! There were over 30 girls in their age group. That's pretty big for a meet in Oklahoma. The teams were the best of the best. Our all-arounds generally didn't fair well, but we had some good individual event placements. |
| posted by 6blessings @ 7:03 AM |
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| Thursday, February 01, 2007 |
| Surprise Letter!!! |
I have not mentioned much about the bwins' background. I have mentioned trying to get letters to their babushka. The boys' mother is alive, but has never been a part of their life to much extent. From what we understand, she is plagued with addictions that many Russian woman have and has never taken any responsibility for her children. Their father is virtually unknown. They had his patronymic, Ivanovich, but that is all we know. From our understanding, the boys lived with their babushka until they were almost 3 1/2 years old, when she had the mother's rights terminated and put them in the orphanage.
The boys have a half-sister that is 11, almost 12 years old. She has a different patronymic name, therefore, a different father. In court, they said that she really has nothing to do with the boys and that there was no sibling bond there. She lives with their grandmother. They also asked us in court if we would be willing to have contact with their grandmother. We said we would. Therefore, on the last day at the orphanage, we asked for her address. We have sent several letters to her and some gifts to their sister.
In late December, we received a letter from their babushka saying that she was wondering how they were, that she hadn't received anything from us since our original letter. We were, of course, concerned as to where our stuff was that we sent them. We then learned that we shouldn't send pictures or anything else in the letters because the government would rip it open and take whatever was in there and never deliver the letter. At that time, we sent a one page letter and one page of photo-copied pictures registered mail. It cost about $9 to send it but it guaranteed that she would have to sign for it to get it.
That was at the end of December. I have been anxiously opening the mailbox the last few weeks hoping to find the returned signed paper that would indicate that she received the letter. On my way to the gym yesterday, I got the mail. In it was not only the signed paper, but a letter from grandma. The best part was not just the letter, but what was also enclosed in it-- pictures!!! We had asked her for any pictures she would be willing to share with us. The boys didn't understand why we had all of the other kids' baby photos and none of them. Babushka sent not only a baby pic of them, but also several pictures of their sister, Darya, and a picture of Darya(Dasha), Babushka, and their Russian Mama Olga.
We showed the boys the picture of all three of them. They had no reaction. We asked them who it was. L said, "I don't know." El said, "No clue." After a few pics of Darya, El said, "That's Dasha." They said they thought they had seen their babushka before, but they had no idea who the mother was. They said they'd never seen her. I asked if they had lived with Dasha and Babushka, they said, "No, just dietsky dom." They said that Dasha had come to the dietsky dom in a yellow car, brought some balls to play outside with them, and then went home. That's all they remember of her.
  Up until yesterday, these were the earliest pictures we had of the bwins. We estimate they were almost 3 1/2 years old in these pics, taken when they entered the orphanage. These pics were taken off the Russian databank website.
Yesterday, this is the pic we received. I felt like I had been given a special gift from God. I never dreamed we would have a baby picture and I had grieved about it many times. As I looked at this picture, I was filled with so many emotions. These were my babies who I never held, never changed a diaper, never was able to comfort at night. My arms ached to have that time, but my heart was so glad they were here now. I also couldn't see how anyone could give up such precious babies.
 Here's a cropped-in close-up of my angel babies. They were 7 months old in this picture. They look much younger. L is on the left, El on the right. It doesn't even look like L could hold his head up or sit up unsupported.
 Aren't they precious? Thank you God for this surprise gift! I am soooo grateful! |
| posted by 6blessings @ 6:19 AM |
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